Annual conker competition suspended at the final swing

The result of the 2014 42 Technology conker competition hangs in the balance due to early suspension

In what is sure to be seen as a metaphor for engineering design approaches, the final in the 2014 42 Technology conker championships came down to a head to head between Shay Yulzary, star mechanical engineering analyst and FE modeller, and practically minded John Monk, head of the lab and workshop. However, last minute postponement due to pressing client projects has left the final result hanging.

Discussions of the optimal diameter, surface finish and application method for the hole (and whether the choice of knot is important) were rapidly replaced once things got underway by comparisons of technique and general amazement at the creativity of Tom Copeland, the organiser, in being able to injure himself in such an unexpected way.

Speaking in an uncharacteristically high pitched voice, Tom announced that the competition would revert to its preferred venue (behind the company bike sheds) next year and apologised that the expected 240 FPS high speed video facility would be unavailable due to a newly purchased smartphone becoming unexpectedly bent somehow.

Engineer Simon Jelley admitted that his plot to field a 3D Printed fake conker was discovered at the CAD stage, while members of the Wireless practice failed to qualify using their novel “no string” approach.

Industrial Designer Lewis Ho pronounced the conkers used as “somewhat antiquated in design, and well overdue for a usability rethink”.

Health and Safety head, John Loveluck assessed the risk as “middling” x “get over it” = “acceptable”. No lasting injuries were reported. Spiders in the vicinity were reportedly unconcerned about the conkers, but not so ambivalent about the airborne fragments.

It is hoped that tension will be relieved once the highly anticipated final can be rescheduled, or to quote a well used old chesnut ….

… to be continued!